Assuming the different roles that different rooms demand of you is, the way I see it, definitely a skill that you have trained yourself to get better at through constant exposure, and in no way should that be undermined.
About the person you are back at home, honestly, I am not sad that people may never get to meet them. I am happy that they exist somewhere beyond the surface, where at least you can define them and hold on to who that version of you truly is.
We have talked through multiple comment sections about how migration has made us leave behind things that once belonged to us, while having a part of ourselves attached to them. It is fascinating how that shared experience keeps bringing us together across borders again and again. Sometimes through your words and sometimes through mine.
You are an inspiration, Michelle. Your personal pieces always seem to give me a gentle push on the days when I feel low on energy, and I hope to keep stumbling across your words again and again :)
Ankesh. You somehow always say some of the most insightful things; the way you framed that second paragraph stopped me. Like, that the home version doesn't need to be seen to be real. I think I needed someone to say that.
& yes, migration keeps doing this thing where it hands you a shared language with people you've never stood in the same room as. I'm glad it keeps finding us across comment sections. Honestly, that part doesn't get old. <3
p.s. I’m sooooo behind on my reading list here, high-key panicking, but I’m coming for you!
well Michelle, this one has been sitting pretty on my reading list because I knew I wanted to give it the attention it deserved and oh boy did it deserve my attention. This was written so wonderfully and you captured the odd sensation of these different yous inside of you perfectly.
Being able to actively call on them, now that is a powerful skill and something I will try to practice more, because I think that is a skill we all inherently have, the practice makes the difference.
And you question, whether we want answers or not, wondering if the isolated version of ourselves is the real one, I think you may be onto something. If there is no one to perform for, maybe then we can be our truest self?
Matthias. The fact that you held it in your reading list, that means a lot. Thank you for that.
& your question is one I keep turning over. I think I land somewhere messier than a yes: I’m not sure the performing self is less real than the isolated one.
Sometimes the version that shows up for other people knows things the solitary one doesn't. The question might be less about which is truest & more about which ones we've actually met?
Some people would think staying true to yourself means being consistent with what you truly are. But the truth is, every aspect of our lives demand a separate version.
Have you read the book “Thick Face Black Heart”? It definitely talks about the versions of ourselves but also teaches on how to protect us in the workplace by using a certain version.
I can resonate with this piece. I for one, have a lot of versions of myself.
This was beautiful to read -- absolutely beautiful. You know the energy that stood out the most? That you have had a warm and full of love family life. I could *really* feel that standing out from this, I could almost taste it. The love, the comfort, the respect -- the way you describe your family member with such love.
I am the same though, a version for me in every room I'm in! Only complete when I'm back at home and alone with my words.
Michelle- The rice cooker got me! I have a deep love for rice that has only grown through the years. The familiarity, comfort in this piece stayed with me. Also, this resonated from the parental side as I watch my young adults create identities separate from the house.
The rice cooker detail doing all the work 😂 🍚 - rice is life. & I love that it landed from the parental side too; watching your young adults build their own selves away from the house is its own version of this. Thank you for reading it that way Cynthia ♡♡♡
The passage about your grandmother stayed with me because it captures how certain people become custodians of particular versions of ourselves. When they leave, the grief is not only for the person; it is also for the language, posture, memories, and ways of being that seemed to exist most fully in their presence. I also appreciated your challenge to the idea that maturity requires becoming one perfectly integrated self. Sometimes resilience comes from having a rich enough inner life that different parts of us can answer different moments without any one disappointment defining the whole story. Thank you for sharing a reflection that treats identity as something more like a constellation than a single fixed point.
Aha it feels like you named it better than I did. the constellation framing is exactly what I was trying to convey. Really appreciate you reading closely & letting me know how it landed. (:
Michelle, I am glad the constellation image resonated. Your essay felt like an invitation to move beyond the pressure of becoming one perfectly consistent person and toward a more generous understanding of identity. Different relationships, places, and experiences often illuminate different stars in the constellation; the picture remains whole even when certain lights become harder to see. Thank you for writing something that honors complexity without turning it into confusion; that balance is part of what made the piece so compelling.
I hadn’t thought about it that way before, but I think you’re right about the different selves. Different people definitely bring out different sides of us. I’m not sure the others disappear so much as fade into the background, but it’s a really interesting idea.
Really nice to be reminded of what it's like to go home. I haven't had that (except my adult home I've made for myself) for such a long time. It's a feelings I try not to but sometimes do forget. Nicely written piece!
Sorry again to read about the recent passing of your grandma.
I enjoyed this Michelle. I liked the idea that we aren't a single, fixed self but a collection of selves shaped by different moments and relationships. It reminded me that some of the most meaningful parts of our identity are held by other people. In that sense, parts of us often live outside of us, and perhaps that's part of being human.
I'm glad you enjoyed it Moe! & I love the astute observation that parts of us live & are held by othe people; it's such a testament to how no one is really, ever an island. & yes, I do think your intuition is right in that regard, it feels quite distinct to the human experience. ✨️
I loved the idea that our different selves are a source of resilience rather than something to fix. The passage about your grandmother was especially moving, and the line about multiplicity being what keeps us standing was powerful.
I'm glad it did Monica! & yess, there's something so comforting about how something we thought was an issue, could also be a source of power. & yess, thank you for always reading so closely. ♡♡♡
Right now I am on a reinventing journey of me because everything was stripped from me and I have to build my own from scratch and its time lol I am looking forward to the final results 😇🙃
Aha! We're all familiar with that journey Diane. More power to you, I'm also looking forward to the result! I'm sure it'll be worth the struggle of the reinvention 🫶✨️
It kind of links to the question "Who are you when all the other versions of you are stripped away" it seems that it could be the pianist who is separated from her instrument and is again aligned to herself once she sits down. The truest version of you
And what versions of us do call upon in each given situation and the self trust you have in these moments.
Great piece. As for your question, I'm not sure any of me lives where I do.
Okay but wait, then where are any of you? 👀😅
Elsewhere? You can also miss a place and never want to be there again. Who really knows?
Oh 100%.
Assuming the different roles that different rooms demand of you is, the way I see it, definitely a skill that you have trained yourself to get better at through constant exposure, and in no way should that be undermined.
About the person you are back at home, honestly, I am not sad that people may never get to meet them. I am happy that they exist somewhere beyond the surface, where at least you can define them and hold on to who that version of you truly is.
We have talked through multiple comment sections about how migration has made us leave behind things that once belonged to us, while having a part of ourselves attached to them. It is fascinating how that shared experience keeps bringing us together across borders again and again. Sometimes through your words and sometimes through mine.
You are an inspiration, Michelle. Your personal pieces always seem to give me a gentle push on the days when I feel low on energy, and I hope to keep stumbling across your words again and again :)
Ankesh. You somehow always say some of the most insightful things; the way you framed that second paragraph stopped me. Like, that the home version doesn't need to be seen to be real. I think I needed someone to say that.
& yes, migration keeps doing this thing where it hands you a shared language with people you've never stood in the same room as. I'm glad it keeps finding us across comment sections. Honestly, that part doesn't get old. <3
p.s. I’m sooooo behind on my reading list here, high-key panicking, but I’m coming for you!
Hehe I have been waiting :))
ahahaha, I'm coming! 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
well Michelle, this one has been sitting pretty on my reading list because I knew I wanted to give it the attention it deserved and oh boy did it deserve my attention. This was written so wonderfully and you captured the odd sensation of these different yous inside of you perfectly.
Being able to actively call on them, now that is a powerful skill and something I will try to practice more, because I think that is a skill we all inherently have, the practice makes the difference.
And you question, whether we want answers or not, wondering if the isolated version of ourselves is the real one, I think you may be onto something. If there is no one to perform for, maybe then we can be our truest self?
Matthias. The fact that you held it in your reading list, that means a lot. Thank you for that.
& your question is one I keep turning over. I think I land somewhere messier than a yes: I’m not sure the performing self is less real than the isolated one.
Sometimes the version that shows up for other people knows things the solitary one doesn't. The question might be less about which is truest & more about which ones we've actually met?
oh I like that framing Michelle! Now I wonder which other versions of my self are still out there, untapped and unexplored.
Some people would think staying true to yourself means being consistent with what you truly are. But the truth is, every aspect of our lives demand a separate version.
Have you read the book “Thick Face Black Heart”? It definitely talks about the versions of ourselves but also teaches on how to protect us in the workplace by using a certain version.
I can resonate with this piece. I for one, have a lot of versions of myself.
Ohhh, I haven't heard of that book. But noted! Will put it on my reading list ✨️ & I'm glad this resonated Sara! (:
This was beautiful to read -- absolutely beautiful. You know the energy that stood out the most? That you have had a warm and full of love family life. I could *really* feel that standing out from this, I could almost taste it. The love, the comfort, the respect -- the way you describe your family member with such love.
I am the same though, a version for me in every room I'm in! Only complete when I'm back at home and alone with my words.
Oh I'm so happy the family love stood out; it's always a bit hard to capture the depth of emotion concretely, so I'm glad to know it worked.
& aha! Love that, makes me feel seen in the feeling, it's always so nice to know that other people experience the same feelings. (:
"The body has a filing system the mind never approved."
I had to put this one down and come back to it. Some pieces ask too much of you on first read. This is one of them. Thank you for sharing this one 💛x
Coming back to a piece that asked too much on first read is its own kind of compliment. Feels like the highest kind, honestly. Thank you tsu. ♡
Michelle- The rice cooker got me! I have a deep love for rice that has only grown through the years. The familiarity, comfort in this piece stayed with me. Also, this resonated from the parental side as I watch my young adults create identities separate from the house.
The rice cooker detail doing all the work 😂 🍚 - rice is life. & I love that it landed from the parental side too; watching your young adults build their own selves away from the house is its own version of this. Thank you for reading it that way Cynthia ♡♡♡
Yes to rice! That is such a great perspective that I didn’t even think of. Thanks for that Michelle!
The passage about your grandmother stayed with me because it captures how certain people become custodians of particular versions of ourselves. When they leave, the grief is not only for the person; it is also for the language, posture, memories, and ways of being that seemed to exist most fully in their presence. I also appreciated your challenge to the idea that maturity requires becoming one perfectly integrated self. Sometimes resilience comes from having a rich enough inner life that different parts of us can answer different moments without any one disappointment defining the whole story. Thank you for sharing a reflection that treats identity as something more like a constellation than a single fixed point.
Aha it feels like you named it better than I did. the constellation framing is exactly what I was trying to convey. Really appreciate you reading closely & letting me know how it landed. (:
Michelle, I am glad the constellation image resonated. Your essay felt like an invitation to move beyond the pressure of becoming one perfectly consistent person and toward a more generous understanding of identity. Different relationships, places, and experiences often illuminate different stars in the constellation; the picture remains whole even when certain lights become harder to see. Thank you for writing something that honors complexity without turning it into confusion; that balance is part of what made the piece so compelling.
I hadn’t thought about it that way before, but I think you’re right about the different selves. Different people definitely bring out different sides of us. I’m not sure the others disappear so much as fade into the background, but it’s a really interesting idea.
Ohhh, glad this gave you something to ponder on. & it's reassuring that the idea resonates, it makes me feel less alone in the feeling somehow.
Really appreciate you reading & letting me know your thoughts. (:
I liked this. The concept of there being several versions of you, moulded by those around you and experiences you’ve had. Thanks for sharing!
Glad you liked it Claudia! Really appreciate you reading & taking the time to let me know how it landed for you! (:
Really nice to be reminded of what it's like to go home. I haven't had that (except my adult home I've made for myself) for such a long time. It's a feelings I try not to but sometimes do forget. Nicely written piece!
Sorry again to read about the recent passing of your grandma.
Glad you enjoyed it Tim! & that it reminded you of what it feels like to come home to a home that's not the one you've built. ♡
& really appreciate the kind thoughts on my gran's passing. ♡
I loved the detail, I could see that lady sitting on the piano. Very beautiful piece 🫶🏻🫶🏻
Great to hear Eliana! & I'm glad the piano imagery stuck, I love creating vivid imagery in my writing, so always great to have reassurance it lands. 🫶
I enjoyed this Michelle. I liked the idea that we aren't a single, fixed self but a collection of selves shaped by different moments and relationships. It reminded me that some of the most meaningful parts of our identity are held by other people. In that sense, parts of us often live outside of us, and perhaps that's part of being human.
I'm glad you enjoyed it Moe! & I love the astute observation that parts of us live & are held by othe people; it's such a testament to how no one is really, ever an island. & yes, I do think your intuition is right in that regard, it feels quite distinct to the human experience. ✨️
Michelle,
This resonated deeply.
I loved the idea that our different selves are a source of resilience rather than something to fix. The passage about your grandmother was especially moving, and the line about multiplicity being what keeps us standing was powerful.
Beautifully written. ❤️
I'm glad it did Monica! & yess, there's something so comforting about how something we thought was an issue, could also be a source of power. & yess, thank you for always reading so closely. ♡♡♡
Right now I am on a reinventing journey of me because everything was stripped from me and I have to build my own from scratch and its time lol I am looking forward to the final results 😇🙃
Aha! We're all familiar with that journey Diane. More power to you, I'm also looking forward to the result! I'm sure it'll be worth the struggle of the reinvention 🫶✨️
ooooo I loved this!!
It kind of links to the question "Who are you when all the other versions of you are stripped away" it seems that it could be the pianist who is separated from her instrument and is again aligned to herself once she sits down. The truest version of you
And what versions of us do call upon in each given situation and the self trust you have in these moments.
💐
Yay! So happy to read this feedback Kelly!
& yes yes, exactly. I feel like my series of personal essays have been a contention on who I am somehow & finding that truest version indeed!
Really glad you loved this, it's more of a personal piece for me. 🫶🫂